Katie U. and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Am I human or am I monster?

I haven't slept in 21 hours. I couldn't do it in the airport. I found a Lady Friend to keep me company, and our conversation went something like this:

Me: Hi! Are you looking for a seat? Come join me!
LF: Look of pure disgust. Okay.

Me: Where are you flying to? 

LF: Are you using this seat for your bags?
Me: I'll move them.

LF: She didn't speak past this point. I miss her.

God continues to stroke, and stroke he did as I made it through both checking my bags and security fairly easily. I wore exactly 14 layers on my torso on my way through security, and made exactly zero friends in doing so. For those new readers who don't know me, I am 6 feet tall, blonde with almond-shaped eyes, 250 Horse Power cheekbones, and a 34DDD with a 28 inch waist. Much like Kate Upton. In fact, I am Kate Upton. Good. Now I know who my audience is. For most, the sight of Amazonian supermodel Kate Upton coming at you in any context means to part the water a la Moses, but this was not the case. Instead, I spent a lot of time dodging Londoners for little plastic tubs to put my things in. I got a lot of dirty looks, and nobody complimented by ingenuity in sneaking past another checked bag by wearing everything. I didn't even have Lady Friend to back me up.

Now, I have made it through security and it's 6AM. I had a caesar salad with a latte because that's all that Starbucks had. I questioned my latte and its caffeine content due to my lack of sleep, and so did God, apparently, because he dumped it all over the floor and my pants.

In addition, my tendinitis hurts. Terribly. Ah yes! I, Katie Upton, have tendinitis in my left foot thanks to bad shoes and over-use. "It ain't easy being lean (UUUHM HAS THAT BEEN PATENTED YET?). " - K.U. 

I will have missed orientation at school thanks to all of these mishaps, but it's still... Okay. I'm getting really good at Solitaire.



PS. Unfortunately, I can't imagine blog posts being anywhere near this frequent in the future. I'm just really bored.